Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
