it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
