My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
