New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
tell me about the fingering
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