I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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