I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
