So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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