I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
