no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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