I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
