From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
