I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize