thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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