hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
