Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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