i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
