He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
