i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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