If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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