They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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