Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
