doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
