No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
