You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
