i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
