Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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