i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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