their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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