butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
