It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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