her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
