what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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