tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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