HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
