you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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