the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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