even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
