this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
