I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
