I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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