I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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