These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize