Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
