If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
