with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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