Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
