Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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