That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
