sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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