Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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