I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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