I want to have your abortion
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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