shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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