it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
