Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
