im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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