i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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