ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
