Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
