i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
