my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
