If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
