I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize