Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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