Porn is love you can see.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize