if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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